dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
