im drinking this country out of the recession.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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