Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Panties = found
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
