You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
