haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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