He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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