all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
