Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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