it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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