You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
