I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
