What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
