My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
