i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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