Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize