i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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