It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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