dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
