Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
