if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
