He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
