That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
