Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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