That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
