One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
COCAINE IS GR8
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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