I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
