hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
