he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
