well I can't set my house on fire every night
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
