hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize