My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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