WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
