how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
