who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
