i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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