ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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