i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
