just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize