My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
