Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
