So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
