He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
