No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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