I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
