That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
