idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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