Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
