Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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