He is an equal opportunity slut.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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