quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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