he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
