dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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