I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
