There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
