Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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