the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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