ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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