I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
